Alone...

So today i am writing basically because i have no one else to talk to.
I have managed to shove everyone out of my life friend wise that i dont go out, i dont do anything, i have taken on the full on Mother and wife role pretty hardcore. Since i have done that there has been no one to talk to, which dont get me wrong im not complaining just there are those days where you just want to talk to someone other then the people that you live with.


So were going back to square one, i might end up re doing my blog at some point because i no longer have just nothing and nonsense to rant about. I have a new aspect of life to indulge in if you will. we had Ella's peds appointment this morning and well theres a long list of specailists that we need to get now....
Social Worker
Ped. Allergist
Dietitian
Ped. Dietitian
Thombone Team (which we havent stopped seeing)

and i need to have an epi-pen on me at all times with her.

i also have to fill out a bunch of forms for Special Diet Allowence

These things tend to get overwhelming from time to time. But now im taking up basically reading everything to do with her needs and allergies. I might just start my own site for kids with her type of situation. Cuz honestly its a pain in the ass for me to learn all this and search up everything i need. If it was all in one place it would help. Im probably gonna go buy some books and what not.

Her first birthday is coming up and well she cant have cake so i found something to make which im going to try, hopefully its ok tasting. Were not even having a birthday party for her simply because i am petrafied of people being around her. You have pets, wear hairspray, perfume, make up, she breaks out....stops breathing...etc. so its just gonna be us and her special cake if it works. I would love for other people to come to but im scared to ask them anything now a days. I mean even when we run into them at the store it just feels akward, now weather thats just me i dont know. It could also be because i still dont know what happened. But either way i haven't been trying to think about it, seeing as i have plenty of things to worry about that are more important...my kids!!! Not saying its not important its just my kids come before anybody PERIOD!!!!

Anyways i should get going i have some research to do.