Did i sleep ???

Today i woke up i went to bed before midnight and i woke up at around 9:30am so a little bit of a sleep in for me thats for sure. And i wake up feeling like i didnt even sleep a single minute, my eyes are burning, i feel like passing out where i stand.

Things have been so hecktic around here lately. The other day Noni woke up and we had to call the ambulance so she could get to the hospital she woke up and she couldnt move so now shes on bedrest and im taking care of her, making sure she eats and basically if she needs anything i get it for her. Me and Adam are both dreading August 3rd, i really hope that they dont decide to do surgery on our baby girl i mean shes only 3 months old, but i guess there gonna do what they gotta do in order to make her feel better.

Tomorrow we have to go to the school program that D will be attending on monday to meet the teachers and everything. I still have to go and buy some Epi Pens for all of this.

I can no longer give Ella her shoots cuz i cant bring myself to do it anymore, thank gawd adam is still doing it for me cuz i saw way to much blood one day and i freaked out. i mean who the hell wants to see there child bleed from your own hand, no one wants to inflict pain on there child period.

i start watching logan soon which will be interesting as well seeing as hes still attached to his momma...lol. and Jenn knows it too. lol . but she knows i love her !!!!

I still cant lift D i still have two weeks of recovery time left, its bothering me i mean i cant run , pick him up or anything really thats heavier then ella. so i got my abdominal muscles swon back together and now i cant use them...lol...kinda sounds funny if you ask me.

Anyways, this is basically just my tired rant for the day seeing as i dont even member what i just wrote that how tired i am and its only 12:53pm, how the hell am i gonna make it through this day... ugh

TTYL

Early morning hell

So lately ive been waking up at like 6am to start the routine for school which starts next week on the 18th. Its only been one day and i cant make it past like 5pm without wanting a nap. ugh! I have too much on my plate but i love it all at the sametime i just have to find a way to balance it all somehow. I mean ive got D getting ready for his program on the 18th and then starting school in sept. i gotta buy all his school stuff. and then miss Ella worrying about her and the possibily of surgery is just freaking me out, then starting babysitting on the 25th all right after me having surgery. and then im also tryin to plan a wedding in all that khaos. LOL but i love it and hate it...its a love hate relationship if you ask me. I just hate having to do it all myself, sometimes i wish i could have a little bit more help. Yeah i know i dont always ask for help but thats usually more cuz i feel that if i ask for help im failing in i guess my self esteem as a parent but in the back of my head im screaming and pulling my hair out. and wishing for just a half an hour to myself just to recharge somedays.

Anyways im heading to bed its too late already
Nite nite

Friendship, whats it really worth?

I have been thinking about somethings lately and well since i already know somethings are pointless to .....maintain if you will. I mean i dont apreciate being told one thing and then having nothing else happen within that time frame. I mean why even bother telling someone something if you dont anticipate on doing anything about it, cant people be upfront about anything anymore?

My problem with the human race is i dont like them, there all stupid. weather the stupity be in smarts, common sense, or just the plain fact that there down right rude, or immpatient. Every one has there thing that drives me nuts... and thus that being my stupidity, i hate people because everyone has something that drives me nuts!! I am apparently anal retentive, a lil ocd, way to emotional, i fall in love to easily, etc.

Well if i wasnt anal retentive i wouldnt get things done, if i wasnt a little ocd id never find the things i need, if i wasnt as emotional as i am i would be a cold human being and probably be in a mental place, and if i didnt fall in love easily my life would be boring and i wouldnt learn from my mistakes, however long it may take me to learn them.

Everyone else seems to be two faced in my opinion. I do not appreciate being told something and then having them do another, that is one thing i try not to do. i am very upfront about things as much as i can be. Yes sometimes i do hide the truth a little bit to avoid confrontation, or hurting the persons feelings but i later admit to what i have done. But for some reason some people seem to think that i lie to them all the time, when in fact i do not, or hide things from them as well. Which i also do not. If they feel as if im hiding something from them then they need to say something to my face rather then behind my back and having me hear it from someone else, that is the worst thing ever.

Like for example, when you ask someone nicely to come see you and they say that they will and then they never show up, but yet you see them out and about... then they give you some lame ass excuse that i was busy doing something important. Yeah you best believe im gonna get pissed, i avoid the confrontation simply cuz i do not want to start something and i usually let it go. But this time around i am not. If it happens again i will not let it go i will confront them regarding the issue, and then if people have an issue with how i voice my opinion then they can go to hell.

I have very little friends as of right now, and to be complety honest with you. I dont need ANY friends to live my life, i have my family and thats all that matters to me. I have my husband to be, my daughter and my son. They are all i need in this life. I can always make new friends, and i can always get rid of them to.

Im getting to the point in my life where im about ready to delete everyone off of everything and then never log back on to anything. Except this blog seeing as its the only thing i have to let my inner feelings out in, and i dont care who reads it. If you dont like what i type then dont read it. Although i was surprised to have 15 people read this the other day! That was amazing!!! lol

Anyways, why dont you share what you hate about people ??

Nite all !!

Whats the point..

So I have been thinking in my head...

Since me and Adam are more then likely getting married what opinions do i have, what would i like, etc. ya know the usual thing a woman does when they want to get married. Cuz if i am correct there are two things in a girls life that they really look forward to, other then the usual milestones in life, these are the things they dream about there whole life, which are Prom and there wedding. well seeing as i never had prom. I have been thinking about our wedding, and well now that i have gone through everything in my head over and over and over again....ive come to realise that as much as i want a huge normal kinda wedding and ceremony...whats the point?? Really what the hell is the point?? For one, my family wont come cuz they just done care period, i dont have any friends, so i wouldnt even have a wedding party, and the friends that i thought were my friends, ya know the ones that i have invested emotional connections with but yet dont talk to me...well thats just it they dont talk to me. I mean honestly i would love to know who the hell would actually come to our wedding if we had one?? I really would.

Cuz i honestly cant see alot of people even caring that i was getting married.

Anyways theres my brain wave for tonight...
I know pointless right but i just thought i would let that out or it would of bugged me forever...lol

Night

Really who the hell makes a game where the dog poops and thats how you win?? Please tell me who !!!! This is redonkulious!!!!!! Please comment with your opinions !!!! I would love to hear them !!!

Back and not moving that well...

So im back from surger...ies. Yes I said surgeries. Well i had the expected one done which was getting fixed, so mama cant have anymore kids. The second one they decided to do while i was in there was they decided to fix my umbilical hernia and at the sametime they put my abdominal muscles back together which i think is what hurts the most, cuz honestly having your muscles swon back together isnt probably the best feeling in the world. So now i am out of commission for 5 weeks i cant life anything over 15lbs so i cant lift my daughter or my son i cant use my stomach muscles cuz they dont want me to puches so basically as of right now im a waste of space...lol. But either way At least everything is fixed now and i dont have to worry about my insides falling out again and it will be easier for me to loose the weight now that they corrected my muscles which is why i wasnt loosing it in the first place from having my son cuz theve been like that since i had him, well at least thats what the surgern said.

Anyways this is just a quick one!!! So ill try and have something else to talk about soon time

The countdown begins...

So today i had my pre op apointment and went in and everything checked out ok and everything. Tomorrow when i talk to the surgern he will tell we weather or not he will also preform a patch job for the Umbilical Hernia that i had along with also doing my tubal ligation, i would personally prefer it that way considering its all done at once and i wouldnt have to go back for surgery later down the road. Just get it done and over with thats what i say. So in otherwards dont expect an update from me tomorrow unless i am capable of getting things up and running with the laptop just so i can stay sane from being in bed and all. im gonna need to do something to keep me from getting up everytime my kids cry or whatever...lol.

Ella also had her apointment with the peds today and everything checked out basically she was actually impressed that a two month old was holding her head up so well and starting to teeth at this early of a stage. There was however one downside to the whole apointment other then her getting her shots, was that she needs to have physio. Her head always goes to the right side of her body and i guess shes is afaird that if she doesnt have physio that her nuscles wont develop properly and will cause issues later on in life. So we now have to start those apointments as well. The ped. thinks that cuz she was so big ( yeah 12lbs 3oz for those of you that dont know her weight at NATURAL birth) and sweeeeshed inside of me her head and neck may not of developed the way the should of, which explains why her head is kinda a weird shape as well. I will do whatever the doctors tell me to do at this point i mean weve been through enough already with everything that went wrong at birth.

BUT.....on a milestone note Ella rolled over for the first time tonight which was amazing, unfortuntly i was in the shitter....yeah thats right i said in the shitter....lol. But thanks to my wonderful "Husband" he took a video so i could watch it !!! Which i will post for all to see!!!

Anyways, I am heading to bed shortly just cuz i cant eat...and well i dont want to chance eating anything right now...And i have to be up shorta early i have to be at the hospital for 12:30am and my surgery isnt till 2:30am the very same time as everyone elses apointments....now lets just pray that we all make it through tomorrow...and im sure that if we do i will only have one person to thank for it and that would be Jennifer!!!!! :P She is my saving grace right now !!!!

Anyways off i go, night night !!!