Just checking in !!!

hey so i know ive been a little MIA lately and well thats simply cuz things have been really really busy here. I started baby sitting a couple weeks ago. And the past oh i dunno lets say since saturday everything has been kinda a little bit of hell. Cuz you know how when one thing hits everything else seems to hit you all at the sametime and then you feel like your slowly going to smash shit and scream...yea been one of those weeks.

So starting saturday, i find out that the kid that ive been babysitting has strep throat so then we were planning on taking D into see the doctor on monday to make sure he didnt have it either. But then suddenly on sunday Ella had blood in her stool, so we had to rush to McMaster emergency to get that checked out, i still do not agree with what the doctor said in the emergency but for agruement sakes i shook my head and went on. Weve also been tryin to switch her formula over as well, seeing as shes on the most expensive formula there is out there, i didnt even know this stuff exsisted until she was given it by the doctors with an Rx. But to put it down to size for you guys, you know those little tiny cans that are like sample sizes yeah for 13 of those cans the cost is $800.00. thats roughly $70.00 per can. So we were given the all clear by the doctor when we went in for out last visit about the blood clot (ill get to that later), so i tried her on a cow's milk protein formula, i mixed 25ml of it in with her neocate, and we had to rush her to the hospital with that one cuz her eye swelled shut. but were still unsure of what exzactly caused that reaction seeing as later once we were at the hospital grandma sent us a text stating that the outfit she was wearing earlier was washed with her stuff which she used a different detergent as well as a dryer sheet, so it wasnt determined what her allergic reaction was to. seeing as the doctor didnt tell us anything we didnt already know. But...moving on, before i get worked up about that.

Then we gave her soy it was going well until the whole blood in poop thing. So we stopped that as well. And now were back to monday. Monday we took damien into the clinic and found out that he as well as strep throat, so now hes on antibiotics. But then the doctor that was examing him also turns around and says that he thinks he has a heart murmur, and that he thinks he sees something in his chest area, sends him for chest x rays, still dont know what he was looking for but get to go see our family doctor on the 26th and go over the results with him. so i then have a heart attack that something is wrong with damien and i dont know what it is, so theres the start of my mini heart attack. Moving on...

Monday night.... adam goes to shoppers drug mart to fill out damiens Rx, as well being pro active decides that he would order in ellas formula, then to find out that apparently the CCAC decided without notice to us that they would no longer cover her formula, so now the pharmist is telling us its $800 for the formula, according to there records it was no longer covered as of aug 2. which i got pissed about cuz there was no notice there what so ever, even though we had one more repeat on that one Rx. So theres the moderate heart attack.

Tuesday... I spend all day calling people tryin to figure out what the hell we should do with the formula, seeing as the peds. is gone away on vacation until September 12, and we cant get another Rx, or send more forms in to cover the formula until she gets back. I call my family doctor and theres nother that they can do, i call the CCAC and finally after waiting all day pretty much for someone to get back to me, they decide to be "nice" and cover just one more month until our peds. gets back from vacation and they dont have to cover it anymore, cuz another program is suppose to cover it cuz they arent a long term facility...whatever. it was relief to me for the time being. We then take ella to the clinic to make sure that she also does not have strep seeing as since sunday shes had a cough, runny nose, and sneezing alot. and i was getting frustrated cuz no doctor would examine her for it cuz they just kept telling me that it was very unlikely for her to have it cuz its transfered through salvia, even though the one year old and ella are always on the floor together playing...so again how would you like to tell me that its not possible?? and her brother having it too...ummm hello hes always giving her kisses and snoting all over everything...so yeah it was a little frustrating...but thankfully she does not have it, she just has a cold.

Then today....i wake up and feel like complete shit....hoping to god that i dont have strep either. Im going to the clinic tomorrow im hopeing that all i have is just a cold or something. Cuz i cant afford to be sick. Also i find out that the kid i babysit now has a virus of some sort.... hopefully hes ok.

And hey its only wendsday....what else can the week bring me!!!! :S



Anyways, as i said earlier that i would mention the whole blood clot thing, yeah we went she had another ultrasound done and its still there she no longer is getting her needles for her blood thinners, which is a plus. But the doctor isnt concerned about it moving or causeing and issues but we do have to go back in may of 2012. And i dont know what the options will then be for it.

Anyways, thats it for me tonight i got my little rant out, made me feel a ton better.

TTYL

Did i sleep ???

Today i woke up i went to bed before midnight and i woke up at around 9:30am so a little bit of a sleep in for me thats for sure. And i wake up feeling like i didnt even sleep a single minute, my eyes are burning, i feel like passing out where i stand.

Things have been so hecktic around here lately. The other day Noni woke up and we had to call the ambulance so she could get to the hospital she woke up and she couldnt move so now shes on bedrest and im taking care of her, making sure she eats and basically if she needs anything i get it for her. Me and Adam are both dreading August 3rd, i really hope that they dont decide to do surgery on our baby girl i mean shes only 3 months old, but i guess there gonna do what they gotta do in order to make her feel better.

Tomorrow we have to go to the school program that D will be attending on monday to meet the teachers and everything. I still have to go and buy some Epi Pens for all of this.

I can no longer give Ella her shoots cuz i cant bring myself to do it anymore, thank gawd adam is still doing it for me cuz i saw way to much blood one day and i freaked out. i mean who the hell wants to see there child bleed from your own hand, no one wants to inflict pain on there child period.

i start watching logan soon which will be interesting as well seeing as hes still attached to his momma...lol. and Jenn knows it too. lol . but she knows i love her !!!!

I still cant lift D i still have two weeks of recovery time left, its bothering me i mean i cant run , pick him up or anything really thats heavier then ella. so i got my abdominal muscles swon back together and now i cant use them...lol...kinda sounds funny if you ask me.

Anyways, this is basically just my tired rant for the day seeing as i dont even member what i just wrote that how tired i am and its only 12:53pm, how the hell am i gonna make it through this day... ugh

TTYL

Early morning hell

So lately ive been waking up at like 6am to start the routine for school which starts next week on the 18th. Its only been one day and i cant make it past like 5pm without wanting a nap. ugh! I have too much on my plate but i love it all at the sametime i just have to find a way to balance it all somehow. I mean ive got D getting ready for his program on the 18th and then starting school in sept. i gotta buy all his school stuff. and then miss Ella worrying about her and the possibily of surgery is just freaking me out, then starting babysitting on the 25th all right after me having surgery. and then im also tryin to plan a wedding in all that khaos. LOL but i love it and hate it...its a love hate relationship if you ask me. I just hate having to do it all myself, sometimes i wish i could have a little bit more help. Yeah i know i dont always ask for help but thats usually more cuz i feel that if i ask for help im failing in i guess my self esteem as a parent but in the back of my head im screaming and pulling my hair out. and wishing for just a half an hour to myself just to recharge somedays.

Anyways im heading to bed its too late already
Nite nite

Friendship, whats it really worth?

I have been thinking about somethings lately and well since i already know somethings are pointless to .....maintain if you will. I mean i dont apreciate being told one thing and then having nothing else happen within that time frame. I mean why even bother telling someone something if you dont anticipate on doing anything about it, cant people be upfront about anything anymore?

My problem with the human race is i dont like them, there all stupid. weather the stupity be in smarts, common sense, or just the plain fact that there down right rude, or immpatient. Every one has there thing that drives me nuts... and thus that being my stupidity, i hate people because everyone has something that drives me nuts!! I am apparently anal retentive, a lil ocd, way to emotional, i fall in love to easily, etc.

Well if i wasnt anal retentive i wouldnt get things done, if i wasnt a little ocd id never find the things i need, if i wasnt as emotional as i am i would be a cold human being and probably be in a mental place, and if i didnt fall in love easily my life would be boring and i wouldnt learn from my mistakes, however long it may take me to learn them.

Everyone else seems to be two faced in my opinion. I do not appreciate being told something and then having them do another, that is one thing i try not to do. i am very upfront about things as much as i can be. Yes sometimes i do hide the truth a little bit to avoid confrontation, or hurting the persons feelings but i later admit to what i have done. But for some reason some people seem to think that i lie to them all the time, when in fact i do not, or hide things from them as well. Which i also do not. If they feel as if im hiding something from them then they need to say something to my face rather then behind my back and having me hear it from someone else, that is the worst thing ever.

Like for example, when you ask someone nicely to come see you and they say that they will and then they never show up, but yet you see them out and about... then they give you some lame ass excuse that i was busy doing something important. Yeah you best believe im gonna get pissed, i avoid the confrontation simply cuz i do not want to start something and i usually let it go. But this time around i am not. If it happens again i will not let it go i will confront them regarding the issue, and then if people have an issue with how i voice my opinion then they can go to hell.

I have very little friends as of right now, and to be complety honest with you. I dont need ANY friends to live my life, i have my family and thats all that matters to me. I have my husband to be, my daughter and my son. They are all i need in this life. I can always make new friends, and i can always get rid of them to.

Im getting to the point in my life where im about ready to delete everyone off of everything and then never log back on to anything. Except this blog seeing as its the only thing i have to let my inner feelings out in, and i dont care who reads it. If you dont like what i type then dont read it. Although i was surprised to have 15 people read this the other day! That was amazing!!! lol

Anyways, why dont you share what you hate about people ??

Nite all !!

Whats the point..

So I have been thinking in my head...

Since me and Adam are more then likely getting married what opinions do i have, what would i like, etc. ya know the usual thing a woman does when they want to get married. Cuz if i am correct there are two things in a girls life that they really look forward to, other then the usual milestones in life, these are the things they dream about there whole life, which are Prom and there wedding. well seeing as i never had prom. I have been thinking about our wedding, and well now that i have gone through everything in my head over and over and over again....ive come to realise that as much as i want a huge normal kinda wedding and ceremony...whats the point?? Really what the hell is the point?? For one, my family wont come cuz they just done care period, i dont have any friends, so i wouldnt even have a wedding party, and the friends that i thought were my friends, ya know the ones that i have invested emotional connections with but yet dont talk to me...well thats just it they dont talk to me. I mean honestly i would love to know who the hell would actually come to our wedding if we had one?? I really would.

Cuz i honestly cant see alot of people even caring that i was getting married.

Anyways theres my brain wave for tonight...
I know pointless right but i just thought i would let that out or it would of bugged me forever...lol

Night

Really who the hell makes a game where the dog poops and thats how you win?? Please tell me who !!!! This is redonkulious!!!!!! Please comment with your opinions !!!! I would love to hear them !!!

Back and not moving that well...

So im back from surger...ies. Yes I said surgeries. Well i had the expected one done which was getting fixed, so mama cant have anymore kids. The second one they decided to do while i was in there was they decided to fix my umbilical hernia and at the sametime they put my abdominal muscles back together which i think is what hurts the most, cuz honestly having your muscles swon back together isnt probably the best feeling in the world. So now i am out of commission for 5 weeks i cant life anything over 15lbs so i cant lift my daughter or my son i cant use my stomach muscles cuz they dont want me to puches so basically as of right now im a waste of space...lol. But either way At least everything is fixed now and i dont have to worry about my insides falling out again and it will be easier for me to loose the weight now that they corrected my muscles which is why i wasnt loosing it in the first place from having my son cuz theve been like that since i had him, well at least thats what the surgern said.

Anyways this is just a quick one!!! So ill try and have something else to talk about soon time