So today i am writing basically because i have no one else to talk to.
I have managed to shove everyone out of my life friend wise that i dont go out, i dont do anything, i have taken on the full on Mother and wife role pretty hardcore. Since i have done that there has been no one to talk to, which dont get me wrong im not complaining just there are those days where you just want to talk to someone other then the people that you live with.
So were going back to square one, i might end up re doing my blog at some point because i no longer have just nothing and nonsense to rant about. I have a new aspect of life to indulge in if you will. we had Ella's peds appointment this morning and well theres a long list of specailists that we need to get now....
Social Worker
Ped. Allergist
Dietitian
Ped. Dietitian
Thombone Team (which we havent stopped seeing)
and i need to have an epi-pen on me at all times with her.
i also have to fill out a bunch of forms for Special Diet Allowence
These things tend to get overwhelming from time to time. But now im taking up basically reading everything to do with her needs and allergies. I might just start my own site for kids with her type of situation. Cuz honestly its a pain in the ass for me to learn all this and search up everything i need. If it was all in one place it would help. Im probably gonna go buy some books and what not.
Her first birthday is coming up and well she cant have cake so i found something to make which im going to try, hopefully its ok tasting. Were not even having a birthday party for her simply because i am petrafied of people being around her. You have pets, wear hairspray, perfume, make up, she breaks out....stops breathing...etc. so its just gonna be us and her special cake if it works. I would love for other people to come to but im scared to ask them anything now a days. I mean even when we run into them at the store it just feels akward, now weather thats just me i dont know. It could also be because i still dont know what happened. But either way i haven't been trying to think about it, seeing as i have plenty of things to worry about that are more important...my kids!!! Not saying its not important its just my kids come before anybody PERIOD!!!!
Anyways i should get going i have some research to do.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Thursday, November 10, 2011
To Clear the air...
Ok two reasons for posting right now...
One is to up date regarding life in general. Well things have been hectic Just got home actually from the hospital my daughter had an acute resp. attack and we needed to stay there for two days so they could give her god only knows how many masks to get her to breath normally again. So now she has two puffers that she has to take daily. Basically they put it down to a virus that attacked her system but they are not sure what kind of virus. So that is basically anything exciting / depressing that has happened lately.
Two is to clear the air with flu vaccinations for my children....
I have had many people ask me if i vaccinate my children and i give them a vage or non detailed answer of no in short. I have never gone into full detail as to why i dont get them vaccinated nor have i ever felt that i needed to but seeing as i was bored and going back on some OLD references to it and seeing as i am a crazy person due to the wording i used to describe it last time i had this decussion in full i thought i would put it in more of a detailed explainion as well seeing as i have had more people ask since then.
I do not get my children vaccinated with the flu shot or any other flu shot that is not manditory because...
1) they have always made me violently ill after getting them, i go into basically shock after i get the flu shot.
2)The father of my chilren cant get the flu shot PERIOD due to allergy reasoning
3) I do not give it to my children due to allergy reasoning.
...basically in the most simplest form i can put it is...i would rather have my children contract a virus that they can potentilly get treatment for, rather then injecting them with someone i KNOW they are going to react to because of allergy reasoning. Seriously, as a parent if you knew your child was allergic to injections because of the way that the injections are grown/processed (whatever the hell you wanna call it) would you knowingly inject them with it knowing there is a possibility of them going into shock/being hospitalize or would you rather take your chances with possiblily getting the flu ??
I choose the possibly getting the flu and if that makes me crazy then so be it, i can not knowly give my child something that i know will have reprecussions. Sorry "mainstream" socity!!!
One is to up date regarding life in general. Well things have been hectic Just got home actually from the hospital my daughter had an acute resp. attack and we needed to stay there for two days so they could give her god only knows how many masks to get her to breath normally again. So now she has two puffers that she has to take daily. Basically they put it down to a virus that attacked her system but they are not sure what kind of virus. So that is basically anything exciting / depressing that has happened lately.
Two is to clear the air with flu vaccinations for my children....
I have had many people ask me if i vaccinate my children and i give them a vage or non detailed answer of no in short. I have never gone into full detail as to why i dont get them vaccinated nor have i ever felt that i needed to but seeing as i was bored and going back on some OLD references to it and seeing as i am a crazy person due to the wording i used to describe it last time i had this decussion in full i thought i would put it in more of a detailed explainion as well seeing as i have had more people ask since then.
I do not get my children vaccinated with the flu shot or any other flu shot that is not manditory because...
1) they have always made me violently ill after getting them, i go into basically shock after i get the flu shot.
2)The father of my chilren cant get the flu shot PERIOD due to allergy reasoning
3) I do not give it to my children due to allergy reasoning.
...basically in the most simplest form i can put it is...i would rather have my children contract a virus that they can potentilly get treatment for, rather then injecting them with someone i KNOW they are going to react to because of allergy reasoning. Seriously, as a parent if you knew your child was allergic to injections because of the way that the injections are grown/processed (whatever the hell you wanna call it) would you knowingly inject them with it knowing there is a possibility of them going into shock/being hospitalize or would you rather take your chances with possiblily getting the flu ??
I choose the possibly getting the flu and if that makes me crazy then so be it, i can not knowly give my child something that i know will have reprecussions. Sorry "mainstream" socity!!!
Friday, September 23, 2011
Today was a quite day until D came home from school...hes usually exhausted which in turn makes him crankier then hell so when it came to dinner time it was yet another yelling match from everyone. I made dinner, and told him it was ready he sat down ate two things and said he didnt want what i made he wanted something else. And well frankly im sick of making him his own "special" meal cuz he wont eat what is made. Time to break the habit. And well cuz i told him nicely that he had to eat what he had, he started crying and screaming and falling into things, etc. So i told him that if he was gonna act that way then he could either go to bed or eat his dinner. It kept on for about oh an hour or so roughly, after about 20 mins i got angry and yelled at him...guess what he did when i yelled.. (BTW i barely yell at my son, i only do it when he manages to tick me off to no end), he laughed in my face pretty much. I mean how are you suppose to keep your cool in that situation... I know how i deal with it....lol...i dont!!! I let Daddy do all that stuff.
Anyways, noticing now that since the babysitting thing is done i now have more time to sit and type on here about nothing...lol.
So theres my rant for the day, not much i know but meh i live a boring life...lol.
TTYL
Anyways, noticing now that since the babysitting thing is done i now have more time to sit and type on here about nothing...lol.
So theres my rant for the day, not much i know but meh i live a boring life...lol.
TTYL
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
what would you do???
ok so i am no longer babysitting anymore... there was a situation... which im still a lil ticked about. But anyways here goes...
When i first starting watching this lil boy the original agreement was till October cuz the mother was sure that he would get a spot then, but as time went on and after she had spoken to the person whos in charge of that stuff she then changed it to January and well the money was good so i agreed to it all. But then about a couple weeks ago her son started intentally beating my son with toys in the head and back etc. I then approched the mother about this situation and there was really nothing done nor no more talk about it...so i let it go. I figured that my son is 4 years old he can walk away from the situation if need be, thats fine. Then my son proceeded to tell me that he didnt want me to watch this lil boy anymore, i felt bad but shrugged it off. I knew it was affecting him seeing as it was always him, then came his sister and then literally about 2 months after she was born i started watching this other lil boy and he had just started school so there were alot of changes in his life which i knew were affecting him, but we needed the money so i just tried my hardest to give my time to everyone, which by the way was wearing me thin.
So anyways continuing on....
Then this lil boy then decided to want to consistently try and push my buttons by going after my daughter while she was in her chair or on the floor. I could not let her stay on the floor period since he would go straight for her and no matter how many times i say no or remove him from the situation or distract him with something else to do he would not listen, right back over to where she was. I let that go to i then decided i would just keep putting her in her chair, where she was safe. Which was slowing her down with development cuz she didnt have as much tummy time as she needed, in my eyes anyways. I thought long and hard about the decisions to be made. But yet again i didnt stop watching him seeing as i Knew the position as well that the parents of this child were in as well, not to mention the money for us was good as well.
So then three days back to back i had to go through the lil boy hitting my son with toys in the head, my son didnt fight back he did not do anything he got up and walked away and then cried later. I did not like it one bit. But then on Tuesday i had enough of it when i put my daughter in her chair and went in the kitchen long enough to take a bottle out of the fridge and put it in the warmer and then go back into the living room to find this lil boy on top of my 5 month old daughter tryin to shove a toy in her mouth i lost it completely.
So later that day when his mother called i told her that i could not watch her son anymore and that i would continue to watch him until she was able to find someone else to watch him and she didnt need to come get him immediatly i was just giving her the heads up and all. So she then proceeded to tell me that she was coming to get him now, she had to quit work cuz of this, and that she wouldnt be bringing him back... basically giving me a whole guilt trip. So once i was off the phone with her yes i did cry i felt bad i didnt want it to go down like that at all. I started to re think the whole situation again...
But then i was told by numerous people i did the right thing by looking after the well being of my own children first which im sure is what any mother or father would do being put in my situation as well... So
Again i ask
What would you have done??? The same thing??? Am i wrong???
Cuz now this person is no longer talking to me... i have basically lost a friendship over it... i seem to think that she is the one acting a lil childish... but thats just me... Imput would be great !!!
T
When i first starting watching this lil boy the original agreement was till October cuz the mother was sure that he would get a spot then, but as time went on and after she had spoken to the person whos in charge of that stuff she then changed it to January and well the money was good so i agreed to it all. But then about a couple weeks ago her son started intentally beating my son with toys in the head and back etc. I then approched the mother about this situation and there was really nothing done nor no more talk about it...so i let it go. I figured that my son is 4 years old he can walk away from the situation if need be, thats fine. Then my son proceeded to tell me that he didnt want me to watch this lil boy anymore, i felt bad but shrugged it off. I knew it was affecting him seeing as it was always him, then came his sister and then literally about 2 months after she was born i started watching this other lil boy and he had just started school so there were alot of changes in his life which i knew were affecting him, but we needed the money so i just tried my hardest to give my time to everyone, which by the way was wearing me thin.
So anyways continuing on....
Then this lil boy then decided to want to consistently try and push my buttons by going after my daughter while she was in her chair or on the floor. I could not let her stay on the floor period since he would go straight for her and no matter how many times i say no or remove him from the situation or distract him with something else to do he would not listen, right back over to where she was. I let that go to i then decided i would just keep putting her in her chair, where she was safe. Which was slowing her down with development cuz she didnt have as much tummy time as she needed, in my eyes anyways. I thought long and hard about the decisions to be made. But yet again i didnt stop watching him seeing as i Knew the position as well that the parents of this child were in as well, not to mention the money for us was good as well.
So then three days back to back i had to go through the lil boy hitting my son with toys in the head, my son didnt fight back he did not do anything he got up and walked away and then cried later. I did not like it one bit. But then on Tuesday i had enough of it when i put my daughter in her chair and went in the kitchen long enough to take a bottle out of the fridge and put it in the warmer and then go back into the living room to find this lil boy on top of my 5 month old daughter tryin to shove a toy in her mouth i lost it completely.
So later that day when his mother called i told her that i could not watch her son anymore and that i would continue to watch him until she was able to find someone else to watch him and she didnt need to come get him immediatly i was just giving her the heads up and all. So she then proceeded to tell me that she was coming to get him now, she had to quit work cuz of this, and that she wouldnt be bringing him back... basically giving me a whole guilt trip. So once i was off the phone with her yes i did cry i felt bad i didnt want it to go down like that at all. I started to re think the whole situation again...
But then i was told by numerous people i did the right thing by looking after the well being of my own children first which im sure is what any mother or father would do being put in my situation as well... So
Again i ask
What would you have done??? The same thing??? Am i wrong???
Cuz now this person is no longer talking to me... i have basically lost a friendship over it... i seem to think that she is the one acting a lil childish... but thats just me... Imput would be great !!!
T
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Just checking in !!!
hey so i know ive been a little MIA lately and well thats simply cuz things have been really really busy here. I started baby sitting a couple weeks ago. And the past oh i dunno lets say since saturday everything has been kinda a little bit of hell. Cuz you know how when one thing hits everything else seems to hit you all at the sametime and then you feel like your slowly going to smash shit and scream...yea been one of those weeks.
So starting saturday, i find out that the kid that ive been babysitting has strep throat so then we were planning on taking D into see the doctor on monday to make sure he didnt have it either. But then suddenly on sunday Ella had blood in her stool, so we had to rush to McMaster emergency to get that checked out, i still do not agree with what the doctor said in the emergency but for agruement sakes i shook my head and went on. Weve also been tryin to switch her formula over as well, seeing as shes on the most expensive formula there is out there, i didnt even know this stuff exsisted until she was given it by the doctors with an Rx. But to put it down to size for you guys, you know those little tiny cans that are like sample sizes yeah for 13 of those cans the cost is $800.00. thats roughly $70.00 per can. So we were given the all clear by the doctor when we went in for out last visit about the blood clot (ill get to that later), so i tried her on a cow's milk protein formula, i mixed 25ml of it in with her neocate, and we had to rush her to the hospital with that one cuz her eye swelled shut. but were still unsure of what exzactly caused that reaction seeing as later once we were at the hospital grandma sent us a text stating that the outfit she was wearing earlier was washed with her stuff which she used a different detergent as well as a dryer sheet, so it wasnt determined what her allergic reaction was to. seeing as the doctor didnt tell us anything we didnt already know. But...moving on, before i get worked up about that.
Then we gave her soy it was going well until the whole blood in poop thing. So we stopped that as well. And now were back to monday. Monday we took damien into the clinic and found out that he as well as strep throat, so now hes on antibiotics. But then the doctor that was examing him also turns around and says that he thinks he has a heart murmur, and that he thinks he sees something in his chest area, sends him for chest x rays, still dont know what he was looking for but get to go see our family doctor on the 26th and go over the results with him. so i then have a heart attack that something is wrong with damien and i dont know what it is, so theres the start of my mini heart attack. Moving on...
Monday night.... adam goes to shoppers drug mart to fill out damiens Rx, as well being pro active decides that he would order in ellas formula, then to find out that apparently the CCAC decided without notice to us that they would no longer cover her formula, so now the pharmist is telling us its $800 for the formula, according to there records it was no longer covered as of aug 2. which i got pissed about cuz there was no notice there what so ever, even though we had one more repeat on that one Rx. So theres the moderate heart attack.
Tuesday... I spend all day calling people tryin to figure out what the hell we should do with the formula, seeing as the peds. is gone away on vacation until September 12, and we cant get another Rx, or send more forms in to cover the formula until she gets back. I call my family doctor and theres nother that they can do, i call the CCAC and finally after waiting all day pretty much for someone to get back to me, they decide to be "nice" and cover just one more month until our peds. gets back from vacation and they dont have to cover it anymore, cuz another program is suppose to cover it cuz they arent a long term facility...whatever. it was relief to me for the time being. We then take ella to the clinic to make sure that she also does not have strep seeing as since sunday shes had a cough, runny nose, and sneezing alot. and i was getting frustrated cuz no doctor would examine her for it cuz they just kept telling me that it was very unlikely for her to have it cuz its transfered through salvia, even though the one year old and ella are always on the floor together playing...so again how would you like to tell me that its not possible?? and her brother having it too...ummm hello hes always giving her kisses and snoting all over everything...so yeah it was a little frustrating...but thankfully she does not have it, she just has a cold.
Then today....i wake up and feel like complete shit....hoping to god that i dont have strep either. Im going to the clinic tomorrow im hopeing that all i have is just a cold or something. Cuz i cant afford to be sick. Also i find out that the kid i babysit now has a virus of some sort.... hopefully hes ok.
And hey its only wendsday....what else can the week bring me!!!! :S
Anyways, as i said earlier that i would mention the whole blood clot thing, yeah we went she had another ultrasound done and its still there she no longer is getting her needles for her blood thinners, which is a plus. But the doctor isnt concerned about it moving or causeing and issues but we do have to go back in may of 2012. And i dont know what the options will then be for it.
Anyways, thats it for me tonight i got my little rant out, made me feel a ton better.
TTYL
So starting saturday, i find out that the kid that ive been babysitting has strep throat so then we were planning on taking D into see the doctor on monday to make sure he didnt have it either. But then suddenly on sunday Ella had blood in her stool, so we had to rush to McMaster emergency to get that checked out, i still do not agree with what the doctor said in the emergency but for agruement sakes i shook my head and went on. Weve also been tryin to switch her formula over as well, seeing as shes on the most expensive formula there is out there, i didnt even know this stuff exsisted until she was given it by the doctors with an Rx. But to put it down to size for you guys, you know those little tiny cans that are like sample sizes yeah for 13 of those cans the cost is $800.00. thats roughly $70.00 per can. So we were given the all clear by the doctor when we went in for out last visit about the blood clot (ill get to that later), so i tried her on a cow's milk protein formula, i mixed 25ml of it in with her neocate, and we had to rush her to the hospital with that one cuz her eye swelled shut. but were still unsure of what exzactly caused that reaction seeing as later once we were at the hospital grandma sent us a text stating that the outfit she was wearing earlier was washed with her stuff which she used a different detergent as well as a dryer sheet, so it wasnt determined what her allergic reaction was to. seeing as the doctor didnt tell us anything we didnt already know. But...moving on, before i get worked up about that.
Then we gave her soy it was going well until the whole blood in poop thing. So we stopped that as well. And now were back to monday. Monday we took damien into the clinic and found out that he as well as strep throat, so now hes on antibiotics. But then the doctor that was examing him also turns around and says that he thinks he has a heart murmur, and that he thinks he sees something in his chest area, sends him for chest x rays, still dont know what he was looking for but get to go see our family doctor on the 26th and go over the results with him. so i then have a heart attack that something is wrong with damien and i dont know what it is, so theres the start of my mini heart attack. Moving on...
Monday night.... adam goes to shoppers drug mart to fill out damiens Rx, as well being pro active decides that he would order in ellas formula, then to find out that apparently the CCAC decided without notice to us that they would no longer cover her formula, so now the pharmist is telling us its $800 for the formula, according to there records it was no longer covered as of aug 2. which i got pissed about cuz there was no notice there what so ever, even though we had one more repeat on that one Rx. So theres the moderate heart attack.
Tuesday... I spend all day calling people tryin to figure out what the hell we should do with the formula, seeing as the peds. is gone away on vacation until September 12, and we cant get another Rx, or send more forms in to cover the formula until she gets back. I call my family doctor and theres nother that they can do, i call the CCAC and finally after waiting all day pretty much for someone to get back to me, they decide to be "nice" and cover just one more month until our peds. gets back from vacation and they dont have to cover it anymore, cuz another program is suppose to cover it cuz they arent a long term facility...whatever. it was relief to me for the time being. We then take ella to the clinic to make sure that she also does not have strep seeing as since sunday shes had a cough, runny nose, and sneezing alot. and i was getting frustrated cuz no doctor would examine her for it cuz they just kept telling me that it was very unlikely for her to have it cuz its transfered through salvia, even though the one year old and ella are always on the floor together playing...so again how would you like to tell me that its not possible?? and her brother having it too...ummm hello hes always giving her kisses and snoting all over everything...so yeah it was a little frustrating...but thankfully she does not have it, she just has a cold.
Then today....i wake up and feel like complete shit....hoping to god that i dont have strep either. Im going to the clinic tomorrow im hopeing that all i have is just a cold or something. Cuz i cant afford to be sick. Also i find out that the kid i babysit now has a virus of some sort.... hopefully hes ok.
And hey its only wendsday....what else can the week bring me!!!! :S
Anyways, as i said earlier that i would mention the whole blood clot thing, yeah we went she had another ultrasound done and its still there she no longer is getting her needles for her blood thinners, which is a plus. But the doctor isnt concerned about it moving or causeing and issues but we do have to go back in may of 2012. And i dont know what the options will then be for it.
Anyways, thats it for me tonight i got my little rant out, made me feel a ton better.
TTYL
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Did i sleep ???
Today i woke up i went to bed before midnight and i woke up at around 9:30am so a little bit of a sleep in for me thats for sure. And i wake up feeling like i didnt even sleep a single minute, my eyes are burning, i feel like passing out where i stand.
Things have been so hecktic around here lately. The other day Noni woke up and we had to call the ambulance so she could get to the hospital she woke up and she couldnt move so now shes on bedrest and im taking care of her, making sure she eats and basically if she needs anything i get it for her. Me and Adam are both dreading August 3rd, i really hope that they dont decide to do surgery on our baby girl i mean shes only 3 months old, but i guess there gonna do what they gotta do in order to make her feel better.
Tomorrow we have to go to the school program that D will be attending on monday to meet the teachers and everything. I still have to go and buy some Epi Pens for all of this.
I can no longer give Ella her shoots cuz i cant bring myself to do it anymore, thank gawd adam is still doing it for me cuz i saw way to much blood one day and i freaked out. i mean who the hell wants to see there child bleed from your own hand, no one wants to inflict pain on there child period.
i start watching logan soon which will be interesting as well seeing as hes still attached to his momma...lol. and Jenn knows it too. lol . but she knows i love her !!!!
I still cant lift D i still have two weeks of recovery time left, its bothering me i mean i cant run , pick him up or anything really thats heavier then ella. so i got my abdominal muscles swon back together and now i cant use them...lol...kinda sounds funny if you ask me.
Anyways, this is basically just my tired rant for the day seeing as i dont even member what i just wrote that how tired i am and its only 12:53pm, how the hell am i gonna make it through this day... ugh
TTYL
Things have been so hecktic around here lately. The other day Noni woke up and we had to call the ambulance so she could get to the hospital she woke up and she couldnt move so now shes on bedrest and im taking care of her, making sure she eats and basically if she needs anything i get it for her. Me and Adam are both dreading August 3rd, i really hope that they dont decide to do surgery on our baby girl i mean shes only 3 months old, but i guess there gonna do what they gotta do in order to make her feel better.
Tomorrow we have to go to the school program that D will be attending on monday to meet the teachers and everything. I still have to go and buy some Epi Pens for all of this.
I can no longer give Ella her shoots cuz i cant bring myself to do it anymore, thank gawd adam is still doing it for me cuz i saw way to much blood one day and i freaked out. i mean who the hell wants to see there child bleed from your own hand, no one wants to inflict pain on there child period.
i start watching logan soon which will be interesting as well seeing as hes still attached to his momma...lol. and Jenn knows it too. lol . but she knows i love her !!!!
I still cant lift D i still have two weeks of recovery time left, its bothering me i mean i cant run , pick him up or anything really thats heavier then ella. so i got my abdominal muscles swon back together and now i cant use them...lol...kinda sounds funny if you ask me.
Anyways, this is basically just my tired rant for the day seeing as i dont even member what i just wrote that how tired i am and its only 12:53pm, how the hell am i gonna make it through this day... ugh
TTYL
Monday, July 11, 2011
Early morning hell
So lately ive been waking up at like 6am to start the routine for school which starts next week on the 18th. Its only been one day and i cant make it past like 5pm without wanting a nap. ugh! I have too much on my plate but i love it all at the sametime i just have to find a way to balance it all somehow. I mean ive got D getting ready for his program on the 18th and then starting school in sept. i gotta buy all his school stuff. and then miss Ella worrying about her and the possibily of surgery is just freaking me out, then starting babysitting on the 25th all right after me having surgery. and then im also tryin to plan a wedding in all that khaos. LOL but i love it and hate it...its a love hate relationship if you ask me. I just hate having to do it all myself, sometimes i wish i could have a little bit more help. Yeah i know i dont always ask for help but thats usually more cuz i feel that if i ask for help im failing in i guess my self esteem as a parent but in the back of my head im screaming and pulling my hair out. and wishing for just a half an hour to myself just to recharge somedays.
Anyways im heading to bed its too late already
Nite nite
Anyways im heading to bed its too late already
Nite nite
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Friendship, whats it really worth?
I have been thinking about somethings lately and well since i already know somethings are pointless to .....maintain if you will. I mean i dont apreciate being told one thing and then having nothing else happen within that time frame. I mean why even bother telling someone something if you dont anticipate on doing anything about it, cant people be upfront about anything anymore?
My problem with the human race is i dont like them, there all stupid. weather the stupity be in smarts, common sense, or just the plain fact that there down right rude, or immpatient. Every one has there thing that drives me nuts... and thus that being my stupidity, i hate people because everyone has something that drives me nuts!! I am apparently anal retentive, a lil ocd, way to emotional, i fall in love to easily, etc.
Well if i wasnt anal retentive i wouldnt get things done, if i wasnt a little ocd id never find the things i need, if i wasnt as emotional as i am i would be a cold human being and probably be in a mental place, and if i didnt fall in love easily my life would be boring and i wouldnt learn from my mistakes, however long it may take me to learn them.
Everyone else seems to be two faced in my opinion. I do not appreciate being told something and then having them do another, that is one thing i try not to do. i am very upfront about things as much as i can be. Yes sometimes i do hide the truth a little bit to avoid confrontation, or hurting the persons feelings but i later admit to what i have done. But for some reason some people seem to think that i lie to them all the time, when in fact i do not, or hide things from them as well. Which i also do not. If they feel as if im hiding something from them then they need to say something to my face rather then behind my back and having me hear it from someone else, that is the worst thing ever.
Like for example, when you ask someone nicely to come see you and they say that they will and then they never show up, but yet you see them out and about... then they give you some lame ass excuse that i was busy doing something important. Yeah you best believe im gonna get pissed, i avoid the confrontation simply cuz i do not want to start something and i usually let it go. But this time around i am not. If it happens again i will not let it go i will confront them regarding the issue, and then if people have an issue with how i voice my opinion then they can go to hell.
I have very little friends as of right now, and to be complety honest with you. I dont need ANY friends to live my life, i have my family and thats all that matters to me. I have my husband to be, my daughter and my son. They are all i need in this life. I can always make new friends, and i can always get rid of them to.
Im getting to the point in my life where im about ready to delete everyone off of everything and then never log back on to anything. Except this blog seeing as its the only thing i have to let my inner feelings out in, and i dont care who reads it. If you dont like what i type then dont read it. Although i was surprised to have 15 people read this the other day! That was amazing!!! lol
Anyways, why dont you share what you hate about people ??
Nite all !!
My problem with the human race is i dont like them, there all stupid. weather the stupity be in smarts, common sense, or just the plain fact that there down right rude, or immpatient. Every one has there thing that drives me nuts... and thus that being my stupidity, i hate people because everyone has something that drives me nuts!! I am apparently anal retentive, a lil ocd, way to emotional, i fall in love to easily, etc.
Well if i wasnt anal retentive i wouldnt get things done, if i wasnt a little ocd id never find the things i need, if i wasnt as emotional as i am i would be a cold human being and probably be in a mental place, and if i didnt fall in love easily my life would be boring and i wouldnt learn from my mistakes, however long it may take me to learn them.
Everyone else seems to be two faced in my opinion. I do not appreciate being told something and then having them do another, that is one thing i try not to do. i am very upfront about things as much as i can be. Yes sometimes i do hide the truth a little bit to avoid confrontation, or hurting the persons feelings but i later admit to what i have done. But for some reason some people seem to think that i lie to them all the time, when in fact i do not, or hide things from them as well. Which i also do not. If they feel as if im hiding something from them then they need to say something to my face rather then behind my back and having me hear it from someone else, that is the worst thing ever.
Like for example, when you ask someone nicely to come see you and they say that they will and then they never show up, but yet you see them out and about... then they give you some lame ass excuse that i was busy doing something important. Yeah you best believe im gonna get pissed, i avoid the confrontation simply cuz i do not want to start something and i usually let it go. But this time around i am not. If it happens again i will not let it go i will confront them regarding the issue, and then if people have an issue with how i voice my opinion then they can go to hell.
I have very little friends as of right now, and to be complety honest with you. I dont need ANY friends to live my life, i have my family and thats all that matters to me. I have my husband to be, my daughter and my son. They are all i need in this life. I can always make new friends, and i can always get rid of them to.
Im getting to the point in my life where im about ready to delete everyone off of everything and then never log back on to anything. Except this blog seeing as its the only thing i have to let my inner feelings out in, and i dont care who reads it. If you dont like what i type then dont read it. Although i was surprised to have 15 people read this the other day! That was amazing!!! lol
Anyways, why dont you share what you hate about people ??
Nite all !!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Whats the point..
So I have been thinking in my head...
Since me and Adam are more then likely getting married what opinions do i have, what would i like, etc. ya know the usual thing a woman does when they want to get married. Cuz if i am correct there are two things in a girls life that they really look forward to, other then the usual milestones in life, these are the things they dream about there whole life, which are Prom and there wedding. well seeing as i never had prom. I have been thinking about our wedding, and well now that i have gone through everything in my head over and over and over again....ive come to realise that as much as i want a huge normal kinda wedding and ceremony...whats the point?? Really what the hell is the point?? For one, my family wont come cuz they just done care period, i dont have any friends, so i wouldnt even have a wedding party, and the friends that i thought were my friends, ya know the ones that i have invested emotional connections with but yet dont talk to me...well thats just it they dont talk to me. I mean honestly i would love to know who the hell would actually come to our wedding if we had one?? I really would.
Cuz i honestly cant see alot of people even caring that i was getting married.
Anyways theres my brain wave for tonight...
I know pointless right but i just thought i would let that out or it would of bugged me forever...lol
Night
Since me and Adam are more then likely getting married what opinions do i have, what would i like, etc. ya know the usual thing a woman does when they want to get married. Cuz if i am correct there are two things in a girls life that they really look forward to, other then the usual milestones in life, these are the things they dream about there whole life, which are Prom and there wedding. well seeing as i never had prom. I have been thinking about our wedding, and well now that i have gone through everything in my head over and over and over again....ive come to realise that as much as i want a huge normal kinda wedding and ceremony...whats the point?? Really what the hell is the point?? For one, my family wont come cuz they just done care period, i dont have any friends, so i wouldnt even have a wedding party, and the friends that i thought were my friends, ya know the ones that i have invested emotional connections with but yet dont talk to me...well thats just it they dont talk to me. I mean honestly i would love to know who the hell would actually come to our wedding if we had one?? I really would.
Cuz i honestly cant see alot of people even caring that i was getting married.
Anyways theres my brain wave for tonight...
I know pointless right but i just thought i would let that out or it would of bugged me forever...lol
Night
Friday, June 24, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Back and not moving that well...
So im back from surger...ies. Yes I said surgeries. Well i had the expected one done which was getting fixed, so mama cant have anymore kids. The second one they decided to do while i was in there was they decided to fix my umbilical hernia and at the sametime they put my abdominal muscles back together which i think is what hurts the most, cuz honestly having your muscles swon back together isnt probably the best feeling in the world. So now i am out of commission for 5 weeks i cant life anything over 15lbs so i cant lift my daughter or my son i cant use my stomach muscles cuz they dont want me to puches so basically as of right now im a waste of space...lol. But either way At least everything is fixed now and i dont have to worry about my insides falling out again and it will be easier for me to loose the weight now that they corrected my muscles which is why i wasnt loosing it in the first place from having my son cuz theve been like that since i had him, well at least thats what the surgern said.
Anyways this is just a quick one!!! So ill try and have something else to talk about soon time
Anyways this is just a quick one!!! So ill try and have something else to talk about soon time
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
The countdown begins...
So today i had my pre op apointment and went in and everything checked out ok and everything. Tomorrow when i talk to the surgern he will tell we weather or not he will also preform a patch job for the Umbilical Hernia that i had along with also doing my tubal ligation, i would personally prefer it that way considering its all done at once and i wouldnt have to go back for surgery later down the road. Just get it done and over with thats what i say. So in otherwards dont expect an update from me tomorrow unless i am capable of getting things up and running with the laptop just so i can stay sane from being in bed and all. im gonna need to do something to keep me from getting up everytime my kids cry or whatever...lol.
Ella also had her apointment with the peds today and everything checked out basically she was actually impressed that a two month old was holding her head up so well and starting to teeth at this early of a stage. There was however one downside to the whole apointment other then her getting her shots, was that she needs to have physio. Her head always goes to the right side of her body and i guess shes is afaird that if she doesnt have physio that her nuscles wont develop properly and will cause issues later on in life. So we now have to start those apointments as well. The ped. thinks that cuz she was so big ( yeah 12lbs 3oz for those of you that dont know her weight at NATURAL birth) and sweeeeshed inside of me her head and neck may not of developed the way the should of, which explains why her head is kinda a weird shape as well. I will do whatever the doctors tell me to do at this point i mean weve been through enough already with everything that went wrong at birth.
BUT.....on a milestone note Ella rolled over for the first time tonight which was amazing, unfortuntly i was in the shitter....yeah thats right i said in the shitter....lol. But thanks to my wonderful "Husband" he took a video so i could watch it !!! Which i will post for all to see!!!
Anyways, I am heading to bed shortly just cuz i cant eat...and well i dont want to chance eating anything right now...And i have to be up shorta early i have to be at the hospital for 12:30am and my surgery isnt till 2:30am the very same time as everyone elses apointments....now lets just pray that we all make it through tomorrow...and im sure that if we do i will only have one person to thank for it and that would be Jennifer!!!!! :P She is my saving grace right now !!!!
Anyways off i go, night night !!!
Ella also had her apointment with the peds today and everything checked out basically she was actually impressed that a two month old was holding her head up so well and starting to teeth at this early of a stage. There was however one downside to the whole apointment other then her getting her shots, was that she needs to have physio. Her head always goes to the right side of her body and i guess shes is afaird that if she doesnt have physio that her nuscles wont develop properly and will cause issues later on in life. So we now have to start those apointments as well. The ped. thinks that cuz she was so big ( yeah 12lbs 3oz for those of you that dont know her weight at NATURAL birth) and sweeeeshed inside of me her head and neck may not of developed the way the should of, which explains why her head is kinda a weird shape as well. I will do whatever the doctors tell me to do at this point i mean weve been through enough already with everything that went wrong at birth.
BUT.....on a milestone note Ella rolled over for the first time tonight which was amazing, unfortuntly i was in the shitter....yeah thats right i said in the shitter....lol. But thanks to my wonderful "Husband" he took a video so i could watch it !!! Which i will post for all to see!!!
Anyways, I am heading to bed shortly just cuz i cant eat...and well i dont want to chance eating anything right now...And i have to be up shorta early i have to be at the hospital for 12:30am and my surgery isnt till 2:30am the very same time as everyone elses apointments....now lets just pray that we all make it through tomorrow...and im sure that if we do i will only have one person to thank for it and that would be Jennifer!!!!! :P She is my saving grace right now !!!!
Anyways off i go, night night !!!
Monday, June 20, 2011
Yeah Comfort!!!
so today damien went in for his shot and well surprise to us all.... he did not cry !!! What a big boy !!!
I also went on a "feild trip" if you will to Walmart tonight.... yes life gets a little bit more sheltered once you have two kids your life revolves around what they want and well frankly you dont have much time for yourself anymore. But anyways, I had to go and buy a abdominal support thing for my lovely umbilical hernia but it also helps with lower back which is a bouns seeing as i have lower back problems as well....and i only paid $26 bucks for it rather then the $140 the medical stores wanted for it...ewwwwww. Im pooooor !!!
And..well being a mother you CAN NOT go to any store period without buying your kids something.. i swear i can not leave a store weather my kids are with me or not without grabbing something for them, i think its a mother thing. But i ended up buying Ella a play mat, a car seat toy (seeing as the girl HATES her car seat, she hates anything that straps her down), and a UV + insect thingy seeing as i seemed to have misplaced the old one i had for Damien.
Now tomorrow I have the lovely pleasures of heading to the hospital for my pre-admission apointment and as well as Ellas shots. And I am not allowed to smoke at all tomorrow as well as a couple of days after my surgery soooo im gonna be the bigger person admist all of this and just try and quit, in hopes that everyone will be helpful with that decission it might just work !!!
Anyhoodles my rantings for tonight are done. Ill more then likely be back tomorrow with some more rantings about absolutly nothing, unless someone gives me something to rant about
Night All
I also went on a "feild trip" if you will to Walmart tonight.... yes life gets a little bit more sheltered once you have two kids your life revolves around what they want and well frankly you dont have much time for yourself anymore. But anyways, I had to go and buy a abdominal support thing for my lovely umbilical hernia but it also helps with lower back which is a bouns seeing as i have lower back problems as well....and i only paid $26 bucks for it rather then the $140 the medical stores wanted for it...ewwwwww. Im pooooor !!!
And..well being a mother you CAN NOT go to any store period without buying your kids something.. i swear i can not leave a store weather my kids are with me or not without grabbing something for them, i think its a mother thing. But i ended up buying Ella a play mat, a car seat toy (seeing as the girl HATES her car seat, she hates anything that straps her down), and a UV + insect thingy seeing as i seemed to have misplaced the old one i had for Damien.
Now tomorrow I have the lovely pleasures of heading to the hospital for my pre-admission apointment and as well as Ellas shots. And I am not allowed to smoke at all tomorrow as well as a couple of days after my surgery soooo im gonna be the bigger person admist all of this and just try and quit, in hopes that everyone will be helpful with that decission it might just work !!!
Anyhoodles my rantings for tonight are done. Ill more then likely be back tomorrow with some more rantings about absolutly nothing, unless someone gives me something to rant about
Night All
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Week from hell...
so this week is gonna be the week from hell tomorrow we have all our doctor apointments. D gets his check up and his shots, I have to go over my x-ray results, get the doctor to sign my day surgery papers, and go over the fact of having another surgery to correct my hernia in my belly button which is called Umbilical hernia...ugh. and also the possiblity of having my abdomin muscles sown back together in the process. Im just falling apart.. but meh cant stress to much cuz its just adds to the already stress i have in life. Adam also has to go over his ultrasound results about his knee.
Then on the 21st i go to the hospital for my pre op apointment as well as ellas apointment for her check up and her shots.
22nd is the day from hell i go in for my day surgery, Ella has to go back to MAC for her ultrasound and check up about her blood clot. and noni is also going for her apointment for her arm soooo i have to call my good friend to come over and watch me and Damien as well as bringing her own son along for the ride....the one i start babysitting on july 18th to make some extra cash seeing as i cant go back to work just yet.
im cancelling our pictures again at walmart for the 23rd cuz well i have surgery the day before and gawd only knows how im gonna feel.
But yeah thats the jist of my fricking week. and then along with all that i have to pack things for either a hospital stay or to go to the trailer...depends on what happens. and get Damien ready for his porgram that starts on July 18th. :D YEAH SCHOOL !!!
Anyways until another day that i feel like typing about my wonderful busy world of motherhood...lol
Then on the 21st i go to the hospital for my pre op apointment as well as ellas apointment for her check up and her shots.
22nd is the day from hell i go in for my day surgery, Ella has to go back to MAC for her ultrasound and check up about her blood clot. and noni is also going for her apointment for her arm soooo i have to call my good friend to come over and watch me and Damien as well as bringing her own son along for the ride....the one i start babysitting on july 18th to make some extra cash seeing as i cant go back to work just yet.
im cancelling our pictures again at walmart for the 23rd cuz well i have surgery the day before and gawd only knows how im gonna feel.
But yeah thats the jist of my fricking week. and then along with all that i have to pack things for either a hospital stay or to go to the trailer...depends on what happens. and get Damien ready for his porgram that starts on July 18th. :D YEAH SCHOOL !!!
Anyways until another day that i feel like typing about my wonderful busy world of motherhood...lol
Thursday, June 16, 2011
All new me weather you like it or not!!!
So its been a really long time since i last posted anything at all. Life has gotten in the way of me spending quaility time with the computer. Anyways, there have been some changes made within my life that i AM happy about, weather some people choose to believe it or not.
I think the problem people are having with everything is that i no longer choose to decuse every little detail of my life with them. But believe it or not I am happy, happier then I have ever been before. I have my family now and things are different this time around, nothing is like the last time. In fact I am no longer holding how i feel inside which was my major problem with every aspect of my life with anyone who was in it. We are even talking about marriage... and if a certain someone has an issue with that... her and her lovely little boyfriend can kiss my ass cuz frankly i dont give a shit about them anymore... i have erased you from my life!! Even with being the one who brought me into it!!! I said my peace towards you and you cant seen to accept that so i am done and have said that directly to you.
When it comes to other people who cant seem to understand things either.. well let me put it this way. I do not epect those people to take on the world, i dont expect them to take on my problems either... and that is particaly my fault knowing that you are like that with me, kinda as in a motherly way i guess. But yes it is paricly my fault for telling all my problems to you, and you only hearing all the negative things in my life and not enough of the positive things, which yes it did give you a bad outlook on things. I have grown to realise that i dont need to talk to anyone anymore except for the person i am having the issues with...thus me telling my mother where to stick it!!
Either way i guess the point to this post is to say Im sorry for burdening you with my bullshit. And i no longer want to burden you with my bullshit. however I do miss your presence within my life. And my son also misses you and Adam as well. he always asks me when hes going to see the two of you... and for that very reason I want to put whatever it is that happened behind us. I know that you feel that i will disrupt your balance in life... but i will no longer tell you things that you feel the need to take responsibility for anymore. I know that is your weakness.. as much as me telling you EVERYTHING was mine.
With that i leave with
I love you and miss you !!
I think the problem people are having with everything is that i no longer choose to decuse every little detail of my life with them. But believe it or not I am happy, happier then I have ever been before. I have my family now and things are different this time around, nothing is like the last time. In fact I am no longer holding how i feel inside which was my major problem with every aspect of my life with anyone who was in it. We are even talking about marriage... and if a certain someone has an issue with that... her and her lovely little boyfriend can kiss my ass cuz frankly i dont give a shit about them anymore... i have erased you from my life!! Even with being the one who brought me into it!!! I said my peace towards you and you cant seen to accept that so i am done and have said that directly to you.
When it comes to other people who cant seem to understand things either.. well let me put it this way. I do not epect those people to take on the world, i dont expect them to take on my problems either... and that is particaly my fault knowing that you are like that with me, kinda as in a motherly way i guess. But yes it is paricly my fault for telling all my problems to you, and you only hearing all the negative things in my life and not enough of the positive things, which yes it did give you a bad outlook on things. I have grown to realise that i dont need to talk to anyone anymore except for the person i am having the issues with...thus me telling my mother where to stick it!!
Either way i guess the point to this post is to say Im sorry for burdening you with my bullshit. And i no longer want to burden you with my bullshit. however I do miss your presence within my life. And my son also misses you and Adam as well. he always asks me when hes going to see the two of you... and for that very reason I want to put whatever it is that happened behind us. I know that you feel that i will disrupt your balance in life... but i will no longer tell you things that you feel the need to take responsibility for anymore. I know that is your weakness.. as much as me telling you EVERYTHING was mine.
With that i leave with
I love you and miss you !!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
FAIL
So amoungst my quest to find some interesting things to do on the interweb since all I seem to do is go on MSN or go to FB and well BORING !! So i have come across EPIC FAIL, simply from watching a new thing that a friend of mine introduced me to. And well this picture made me giggle. Not the best picture ever but jus kinda cute at the same time.